For, Friday, July 7, 2017

EDITOR’S NOTE: Once in a while, when I was feeling particularly stressed, pressed for time or … well … just lazy, I’d create a column out of something simple I’d find in the show-business trade paper Variety or some other publication. This item is an example, actually the second half of a ‘Hicks on Flicks’ column published in the Deseret News on March 1, 1987. Eventually, such films as ‘Throw Momma from the Train,’ ‘Spaceballs’ and ‘Predator’ would reveal themselves to be not-bad pictures by major filmmakers with stars of the period heading the respective cast lists. But as they were nothing but titles when this was written, they are lumped in with others that later proved to be less worthy, if, indeed, they were made at all.

Titles of new, upcoming films always intrigue me, particularly when you haven’t the slightest clue as to what the movie is about.

Examples of upcoming question marks include “Good Girls Don’t Explode” and “Throw Momma from the Train.”

Or how about these, each one a real movie in production of one sort or another, gleaned from the pages of Variety, the show-biz bible:

“Cannibal Hookers”

“Strip Me Deadly”

“The Retaliator”

“Revenge of the Barbarians”

“Invasion Earth: The Aliens Are Here”

“I Was a Teenage Vampire”




“The Chipmunk Adventure”

“The Class of Nuke ’Em High”

“I Married a Vampire”


If those don’t get you back into movie theaters, what will?

Hey, you have to admit, the prospects are more promising than myriad movies with “II,” “IV” or “XXXVII” behind the title.



QUOTE OF THE WEEK: In his current HBO special, Bob Goldthwait, the screaming comic who co-stars in the “Police Academy” sequels (which he calls “Police Lobotomies”) explains why the third sequel (scheduled for summer release) is necessary:

“We needed to do ‘Police Academy IV’ because there were so many unanswered questions in ‘II’ and ‘III.’